“Emotionally drained”, what a pair of complicated words – but we all feel it. It’s real. But what is it in a simple perspective? We all use these words to express the state we are in when we have put a lot of efforts into something to no gain.

Ever heard someone saying “__________ is so emotionally draining.” But there’s nobody with such superpowers. Nobody can just be around you and begin draining your energy. It seems that way, however if you look deep into the mechanics of such situations, you’ll find that you have yourself hooked yourself to certain desires and you feel emotionally drained when those desires are not met, even after putting in the work that your mind understands as the fair earning criteria for that reward. Like:

I listened to Matt for 4 hours, and he still kept interrupting me. It drained me emotionally.

I can’t deal with Sophia just nagging all the time, saying negative stuff. It affects me.

My boyfriend keeps controlling my life, it exhausts me.

What are these situations and emotions? They are results of when you get what you don’t want, even after doing everything right on your end. When you’re doing everything to make a conversation but the other person is selfish in it, when you’re working hard to keep things positive but someone just wants to be negative or when you’re being such a good lover but yet your significant other wants to maintain their control and move you around like their pawn.

Let’s loose a heavy sigh together everybody. *SIGHHHHHSSSSSSDHSDfgsdjffj*

Ah! That was therapeutic.

When you know what to expect out of people, situations, places… actually let’s make it simpler: when you get only what you want and when you want only when you get, that’s the loop of bliss. And you can be living on this loop if you dare to. It’s a two-step action plan

Step One – Want Only What You Can Get For Sure

Let’s say you’re a freelancer sending out proposals to hundreds of prospects every month. The moment you desire $10,000 out of these hundreds of proposals, you’ve poked a hole in your heart for some emotions to be drained. Because you don’t know if you can get that amount for sure right now! Nobody knows.

What’s better is to create a desire or a goal to just send out 150 proposals this month, and make the best of whatever comes out of it. This is setting yourself up for some happiness. Because you’re doing the best you can, and expecting the best you can as well.

Step Two – Get All That You Want!

150 proposals, that’s what you want, get it. Doesn’t matter how. Partner with 2 other friends if you know you can only send 50 good proposals. Promise them some commission and request for their help to move the goal but move it to the finish line. Because if you’ve created a goal you know you could have nailed, and didn’t, that’s the whole hole-poking thing all over again. It will drain you for sure.

To sum it all and pack it in a nutshell, two things are the deciders of whether you will have emotional energy or you’ll be out of it.

“the way you set your desires”
“whether if you put sufficient action to realize your desires”

This whole day, just observe the moments when you feel you’re losing emotional energy. Stop right there and ask yourself what is the desire that’s not being met? See how that desire is more a fantasy, and try to see what’s something more practical that you can work on and get done, then reshape that desire. A week of this work can change your life in a way you won’t be able to picture or experience now. Good luck!

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